Case of the Mondays

Don't bother me. I've got a case of the Mondays.FLASH

Politics are a Joke

The world of politics is filled with jackasses.

That’s the only way to make sense of what’s going on in the world today. Especially this.

I’m not going to get into my personal beliefs on how to cure the world’s ills, just know that I have a plan, and that plan would save the world from itself.

Why not share it? Well, I’m too tired to spread the word.

So, for now, I’ll sit back and watch the world continue down its ruinous path. I can only hope that a few rays of sunshine turn into a sunny day and all will be well with the world again.

FLASH

Howl-oween Humiliation

Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged. I'm sure everyone has been in a deep, dark depression without my words of wisdom to brighten their day. Sorry about that.

What's been going on? Well, this is the time of year I dread. Why? Because it’s Halloween time and that means my parents are going to dress me up in some ridiculous costume. In the past I’ve been Superman, Darth Vader, Pumpkin Monster, Reindeer and a ghost. I’m sure there are more but that’s all I can remember. It appears I’m not the only one who gets this treatment.

From the Interwbs – A devil twirled around while her master held a lollipop in the air and a cheerleader shook her behind as she walked past the judges.

The pug costume judges, that is.

During the fourth annual Rochester Canine Playgroup’s Howl-o-Ween, dogs of all kinds and sizes participated in costume contests and other Halloween activities with their owners.

“It’s a very nice social atmosphere for the dogs and for us (dog owners) as well,” said Playgroup founder Tara Gamby.

A very nice social atmosphere for the humans. It’s a humiliating experience for canines.

The event was divided into three sessions Sunday – a pugs-only group, small dogs and big dogs.

May I suggest dividing the sessions into these three groupings: totally humiliated dogs, slightly disgraced dogs and dogs that play for the other side. See if you can determine which picture below belongs in which category (all dogs depicted below are males).

FLASH

Elephant Ears

So my Old Man told me that I have "ears like an elephant". I wasn't sure what an elephant was because I never seen one in real life so I decided to google and I found this... and quickly realize I was being insulted.Really, Old Man? Ears like an elephant?

Two can play that game. I told him he has a belly like a sumo wrestler. In case you don't know what that is, here is a visual:Yep, I see the resemblance.

On another note, I have to go back to the vet tomorrow. That blows. If you feel sorry for me, you should send me treats. Lots of them.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to my Old Man!

My mom gave me some money to buy him a gift so I bought him a dog cake from Tail Waggins' Bakery. Aren't I thoughtful? I'm willing to help him eat it if he doesn't like dog cake. I know. I'm the best.

My Sense of Humor and the Old Man's Birthday

I posted the following as my Facebook status yesterday...
My Old Man is a gambler…on his farts not killing everyone in the house.

The Old Man didn't find it funny. I told him I didn't find it funny either; I'm just speaking the truth...and the truth is that he's been passing some bad gas lately.

Speaking of the Old Man, this Friday is his birthday. He's asked that you send all gifts addressed to me. You know, so I can keep them safe until he opens them. His birthday list includes pork ears, corn dogs, bowser beer and squeaky toys. What...I can't help it that we have similar tastes.

Be sure to give him a nugie and wish him a Happy Birthday!

Obedience Class

Sit. Stay.

That’s the only thing I remember from my Good Canine Citizens Certification class, although I don’t follow the commands today.

It makes my parents feel better about themselves when they say those two words in front of people, expecting me to obey.

After a full minute of them trying to push my booty down on the ground, it invariably ends with a comment like, “He’s usually much better than this.”

My parents know it’s a lie, I know it’s a lie, and most of all the people they’re talking to know it’s a lie.

So who’s to blame? Many will say it’s because I didn’t go to a good school, but c’mon, we all know it’s not where you go but who you know.

Want to go far in life, hang with a successful pack.

Me? Clearly, I’ve decided to rough it in this go around of life.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, my cousin Tubbs, is starting obedience school with a dog trainer today. Let’s see how long it takes Tubbs to figure out what’s really important in life