I’m not ashamed to say it, I love Christmas. Sure there will be those out there in cyberspace that may think it’s politically incorrect to be religion specific, but frankly, this dog doesn’t give a sniff. Not when presents are involved.
I’ll admit that around this time of year I always suck up to the big guy. You know him; he’s the one in really big red pants, red shirt and the funny red hat. I believe it’s the prudent thing to do as I look to add to my toy and food collection.
I'd like to say a special thanks to my sister, Lulu, who just bumped me off the naughty list onto the nice one.
FLASH
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
I'm Back
I'm back from the holiday break. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Eat too much turkey? I did. Well it's Monday... I guess it's back to work...which in my case means napping on the couch.
Anyway, I decided to put my paws to the key pad this morning and write some pose to sum up my Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy!
I ate too much turkey,
I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie,
I'm stuffed up with muffins
and much too much stuffin',
I'm probably going to die.
I piled up my plate
and I ate and I ate,
but I wish I had known when to stop,
for I'm so crammed with yams,
sauces, gravies, and jams
that my buttons are starting to pop.
I'm full of tomatoes
and french fried potatoes,
my stomach is swollen and sore,
but there's still some dessert,
so I guess it won't hurt
if I eat just a little bit more.
Anyway, I decided to put my paws to the key pad this morning and write some pose to sum up my Thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy!
A Thanksgiving Poem
by FLASH
I ate too much turkey,
I ate too much corn,
I ate too much pudding and pie,
I'm stuffed up with muffins
and much too much stuffin',
I'm probably going to die.
I piled up my plate
and I ate and I ate,
but I wish I had known when to stop,
for I'm so crammed with yams,
sauces, gravies, and jams
that my buttons are starting to pop.
I'm full of tomatoes
and french fried potatoes,
my stomach is swollen and sore,
but there's still some dessert,
so I guess it won't hurt
if I eat just a little bit more.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Waiting Game
First of all, who turned on the heat? It's 80 degrees and humid here again today. Dear Old Man Winter, where the hell are you?
Not much going on. At this point, it's just a waiting game for me. T-minus two days until I can indulge in a Thanksgiving feast. I have been making room in my system by taking ginormous dumps in the backyard.
I've also been thinking about what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for pork ears, treats, bacon, and Melody the Basset who lives down the street. Not so thankful for Lulu. But, what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving is that my mom isn't doing any of the cooking. If you've ever tasted her "cooking", you would agree.
Love and Turkey Guts,
FLASH
Not much going on. At this point, it's just a waiting game for me. T-minus two days until I can indulge in a Thanksgiving feast. I have been making room in my system by taking ginormous dumps in the backyard.
I've also been thinking about what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for pork ears, treats, bacon, and Melody the Basset who lives down the street. Not so thankful for Lulu. But, what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving is that my mom isn't doing any of the cooking. If you've ever tasted her "cooking", you would agree.
Love and Turkey Guts,
FLASH
Monday, November 22, 2010
Holiday Safety
Did you ever notice that around the various holidays throughout the year, there are some folks who find the need to highlight all the dangerous things in the world as it relates to pets? Well, here’s another such article.
The Internet is full of holiday pet safety warnings – some real ones, some imagined ones. Here, in an attempt to separate the fact from the fiction, is a list of 10 things to watch out for.
All righty then. Let’s take them one by one and see how this list stacks up to the dangers this world has to offer.
1. Turkey is bad for dogs. Not true! Turkey bones are (they can splinter), and gorging on turkey fat can cause pancreatitis (take note, Uncle Fred), but turkey meat – despite the fretting on many internet forums – poses no danger to dogs.
I like the tone of this article early. Turkey is great for canines, especially me. I’d rather have the meat than the bones anyway so I’m not worried about splinters in my belly. As for pancreatitis, I don’t know what the big deal is, I love them stacked high with maple syrup on top.
2. Poinsettias can be toxic for pets. True!
I’m more of a white rose type of guy anyway.
3. Pine needles are toxic to pets. True and false.
Let’s be honest. Pine needles could be as toxic as my father’s underwear after a weekend with the boys, but they’d do no harm. There isn’t a pet in their right mind that’s eating pine needles voluntarily.
4. Tinsel can kill your pet. Theoretically, yes it can cause trouble. If you should see tinsel or any other possibly long object protruding from your pets…rectum, don’t try to pull it out.
Theoretically and in reality it causes problems. Just look at Tinseltown. That place has caused more trouble for canines than any other part of this world. There’s Lassie almost drinking himself to death, Rin Tin Tin shooting Savory Sauce into his veins and Beethoven begging for acceptance with his sixth family. Rectum? It nearly killed ‘em.
5. Electric lights.
Next thing you know, they won’t trust us to use the indoor plumbing. Let’s see a human enjoy going outside to do a number 2 while the neighborhood looks on in anticipation.
6. Candles. Most dogs know enough not to stick their nose in a flame.
There’s nothing dangerous about candles. I like to light them and put them around the bathtub when I bathe. A little classical music in the background, some Dostoyevsky and I’m in heaven.
7. Ahhh, dessert. Your best bet is to keep them all away from your pet.
I call bullcrap on this bullet. Desserts are not dangerous to dogs. The author of this article is just trying to keep all the sweet goodness to himself.
8. The crowds. With a lot of new and strange humans in the house, your dog or cat could get stressed out by the holiday hub-bub.
The only human in my house I find to be strange is the Old Man.
9. Decorations on the tree. Don’t use cookie ornaments.
Don’t agree. Please use cookie ornaments, preferably ones made by someone other than my mother.
10. The presents under the tree. These, too, can intrigue your pet, especially if you have a dog that likes to unwrap things, and especially if any of the things might contain food product.
What do you think we do when our owner’s are away? Well, we’re shaking the packages under the tree to guess what they may contain. Cats aren’t the only ones that are curious.
So, in the final analysis it doesn’t appear that the holidays pose a big risk to my brethren and me. To that end I wish all of you a safe and happy holiday season too.
FLASH
The Internet is full of holiday pet safety warnings – some real ones, some imagined ones. Here, in an attempt to separate the fact from the fiction, is a list of 10 things to watch out for.
All righty then. Let’s take them one by one and see how this list stacks up to the dangers this world has to offer.
1. Turkey is bad for dogs. Not true! Turkey bones are (they can splinter), and gorging on turkey fat can cause pancreatitis (take note, Uncle Fred), but turkey meat – despite the fretting on many internet forums – poses no danger to dogs.
I like the tone of this article early. Turkey is great for canines, especially me. I’d rather have the meat than the bones anyway so I’m not worried about splinters in my belly. As for pancreatitis, I don’t know what the big deal is, I love them stacked high with maple syrup on top.
2. Poinsettias can be toxic for pets. True!
I’m more of a white rose type of guy anyway.
3. Pine needles are toxic to pets. True and false.
Let’s be honest. Pine needles could be as toxic as my father’s underwear after a weekend with the boys, but they’d do no harm. There isn’t a pet in their right mind that’s eating pine needles voluntarily.
4. Tinsel can kill your pet. Theoretically, yes it can cause trouble. If you should see tinsel or any other possibly long object protruding from your pets…rectum, don’t try to pull it out.
Theoretically and in reality it causes problems. Just look at Tinseltown. That place has caused more trouble for canines than any other part of this world. There’s Lassie almost drinking himself to death, Rin Tin Tin shooting Savory Sauce into his veins and Beethoven begging for acceptance with his sixth family. Rectum? It nearly killed ‘em.
5. Electric lights.
Next thing you know, they won’t trust us to use the indoor plumbing. Let’s see a human enjoy going outside to do a number 2 while the neighborhood looks on in anticipation.
6. Candles. Most dogs know enough not to stick their nose in a flame.
There’s nothing dangerous about candles. I like to light them and put them around the bathtub when I bathe. A little classical music in the background, some Dostoyevsky and I’m in heaven.
7. Ahhh, dessert. Your best bet is to keep them all away from your pet.
I call bullcrap on this bullet. Desserts are not dangerous to dogs. The author of this article is just trying to keep all the sweet goodness to himself.
8. The crowds. With a lot of new and strange humans in the house, your dog or cat could get stressed out by the holiday hub-bub.
The only human in my house I find to be strange is the Old Man.
9. Decorations on the tree. Don’t use cookie ornaments.
Don’t agree. Please use cookie ornaments, preferably ones made by someone other than my mother.
10. The presents under the tree. These, too, can intrigue your pet, especially if you have a dog that likes to unwrap things, and especially if any of the things might contain food product.
What do you think we do when our owner’s are away? Well, we’re shaking the packages under the tree to guess what they may contain. Cats aren’t the only ones that are curious.
So, in the final analysis it doesn’t appear that the holidays pose a big risk to my brethren and me. To that end I wish all of you a safe and happy holiday season too.
FLASH
Thursday, November 18, 2010
New Snout on the Block
I've got a dog crush. And I am crushing on this chick bad!
You might be thinking "Flash, you are such a handsome dog, you could get any chick you want." Well, you're right - I am damn handsome and in the past I've been what they like to call a "Player." But, as Big Pun so eloquently stated, 'don't hate the player, hate the game.' But there is something special about this new chick. Something that makes me want to settle down. She's not your typically hood dog - she's someone you could take home to meet your mom.
Anyway, about this new dog. She's a beautiful basset hound puppy named Melody who was just adopted by a family down the street from us. We were on a walk when I spotted her and stopped dead in my tracks. I was so enchanted I think I felt a little dribble down my leg. Mom stopped to chat with their owner while I tried to get up the courage to sniff this beautiful creature.
Usually I can shoot the breeze with the ladies, spouting out romantic one liners to make them fall in love with the Flashmeister. But something weird happened. I was speechless. I was so taken by this Melody that I couldn't even bark my name. Then Mom dragged me away before I was able to get her number.
So, Melody, if you happen to read this, I would like to take you out on a date to Sonic for Corndogs. My mom will drive. Hit me up at 546-FLASH. I'll be looking for you in the neighborhood.
Love,
FLASH
You might be thinking "Flash, you are such a handsome dog, you could get any chick you want." Well, you're right - I am damn handsome and in the past I've been what they like to call a "Player." But, as Big Pun so eloquently stated, 'don't hate the player, hate the game.' But there is something special about this new chick. Something that makes me want to settle down. She's not your typically hood dog - she's someone you could take home to meet your mom.
Anyway, about this new dog. She's a beautiful basset hound puppy named Melody who was just adopted by a family down the street from us. We were on a walk when I spotted her and stopped dead in my tracks. I was so enchanted I think I felt a little dribble down my leg. Mom stopped to chat with their owner while I tried to get up the courage to sniff this beautiful creature.
Usually I can shoot the breeze with the ladies, spouting out romantic one liners to make them fall in love with the Flashmeister. But something weird happened. I was speechless. I was so taken by this Melody that I couldn't even bark my name. Then Mom dragged me away before I was able to get her number.
So, Melody, if you happen to read this, I would like to take you out on a date to Sonic for Corndogs. My mom will drive. Hit me up at 546-FLASH. I'll be looking for you in the neighborhood.
Love,
FLASH
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is next week, and I am certainly looking forward to it. For me it’s always nice because my grandparents as well as other family members will be around. This gives me lots of additional begging time. I usually gain about five pounds during Thanksgiving weekend.
It’s also the time of year I get my filling of Turkey. Breakfast, lunch and dinner have some form of turkey added in my kibble. It’s used for everything.
After reading the news this morning, I realized there was one other use I hadn’t thought of. Take a look…
North Carolina authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged carjacker with a frozen turkey as he tried to steal a woman’s car in a grocery store parking lot Sunday.
Police say 30-year-old Fred Louis Ervin of Raleigh stole money from a gas station before running across the street to a Harris Teeter store in a town just south of Raleigh. Garner police say he began beating Irene Moorman Bailey while stealing her car.
Other shoppers came to her rescue, including one who hit Ervin with the turkey.
Despite serious head injuries, Ervin got away in Bailey’s car and hit several other cars as he fled. But police arrested him a short time later.
My advice to the would be carjacker: stop your criminal activities, even if you have to do it cold turkey. (Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week…)
FLASH
It’s also the time of year I get my filling of Turkey. Breakfast, lunch and dinner have some form of turkey added in my kibble. It’s used for everything.
After reading the news this morning, I realized there was one other use I hadn’t thought of. Take a look…
North Carolina authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged carjacker with a frozen turkey as he tried to steal a woman’s car in a grocery store parking lot Sunday.
Police say 30-year-old Fred Louis Ervin of Raleigh stole money from a gas station before running across the street to a Harris Teeter store in a town just south of Raleigh. Garner police say he began beating Irene Moorman Bailey while stealing her car.
Other shoppers came to her rescue, including one who hit Ervin with the turkey.
Despite serious head injuries, Ervin got away in Bailey’s car and hit several other cars as he fled. But police arrested him a short time later.
My advice to the would be carjacker: stop your criminal activities, even if you have to do it cold turkey. (Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week…)
FLASH
Monday, November 15, 2010
My Weekend
So Mom and Dad went to San Antonio this weekend. I thought they said Dog and I was going with, but not so much. Anyways, I am glad I stayed home because my friend Steffi came to stay with Lulu and I, and we had a great time.
I really like Steffi, mostly because she brought me a corn dog, but also because she takes me on nice walks without complaining like the Old Man, and she's also much better at fetch than the Old Man.
Thank you Steffi for taking such good care of us! You can come by and play with me anytime. I nap daily from 9 am - 3 pm, but I am free any time after that. Feel free to bring a corn dog with you.
FLASH
I really like Steffi, mostly because she brought me a corn dog, but also because she takes me on nice walks without complaining like the Old Man, and she's also much better at fetch than the Old Man.
Thank you Steffi for taking such good care of us! You can come by and play with me anytime. I nap daily from 9 am - 3 pm, but I am free any time after that. Feel free to bring a corn dog with you.
FLASH
Friday, November 12, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Happy Veteran's Day
Today is Veterans Day, and like most of my fellow canines, I’m looking forward to having a day off.
I’ve always felt a bit guilty about having Veterans Day off; after all I didn’t do anything to deserve it. My mom and the Old Man don't even get the day off. Let’s face it, most people employed outside of banking, government, and education won’t have a day to enjoy the freedoms that our veterans help secure. I don’t have the power to persuade companies to give everyone the day off work, but I can do my part to honor those who have served. To that end, I’d like to dedicate this blog to the men and women in my family who have served.
My great, great, great, great uncle of mine, who was a Doberman by the way, landed on the beaches of Normandy. His responsibility on D-Day was to chase the German Shepherds from the hilltops on the often overlooked beach called Kennel Cough. Every dog historian I’ve read agrees it was the most dangerous of all the landing zones.
Although outnumbered, and out-positioned, the courage of my distant relative shone through. He jumped from his boat a dangerous 400 yards from shore. Weighted down with Purina One he barely managed to doggie paddle his way onto the beach. Once there, he had to navigate a booby trapped beach covered in poos.
No, not a bunch of Winnies laying in the sun, but rather the kind of poos that come out of the business end of a cat. Highly trained as he was, my uncle swallowed the turds as if they were delicate treats until he was within barking distance of his enemies. He climbed the cliffs and stormed the closest tower.
Vicious barking could be heard from inside until my uncle emerged back through the doorway. There, in his mouth, was Colonel Sauer Kraut, a german squirrel with ill intentions, begging to be let go.
My uncle, a creature who loved mother nature’s bounty, let Sauer Kraut free out of the kindness of his heart. It seemed the right thing to do then.
If only my uncle were still around. At least I have his memory. Long live our fighting heroes.
FLASH
I’ve always felt a bit guilty about having Veterans Day off; after all I didn’t do anything to deserve it. My mom and the Old Man don't even get the day off. Let’s face it, most people employed outside of banking, government, and education won’t have a day to enjoy the freedoms that our veterans help secure. I don’t have the power to persuade companies to give everyone the day off work, but I can do my part to honor those who have served. To that end, I’d like to dedicate this blog to the men and women in my family who have served.
My great, great, great, great uncle of mine, who was a Doberman by the way, landed on the beaches of Normandy. His responsibility on D-Day was to chase the German Shepherds from the hilltops on the often overlooked beach called Kennel Cough. Every dog historian I’ve read agrees it was the most dangerous of all the landing zones.
Although outnumbered, and out-positioned, the courage of my distant relative shone through. He jumped from his boat a dangerous 400 yards from shore. Weighted down with Purina One he barely managed to doggie paddle his way onto the beach. Once there, he had to navigate a booby trapped beach covered in poos.
No, not a bunch of Winnies laying in the sun, but rather the kind of poos that come out of the business end of a cat. Highly trained as he was, my uncle swallowed the turds as if they were delicate treats until he was within barking distance of his enemies. He climbed the cliffs and stormed the closest tower.
Vicious barking could be heard from inside until my uncle emerged back through the doorway. There, in his mouth, was Colonel Sauer Kraut, a german squirrel with ill intentions, begging to be let go.
My uncle, a creature who loved mother nature’s bounty, let Sauer Kraut free out of the kindness of his heart. It seemed the right thing to do then.
If only my uncle were still around. At least I have his memory. Long live our fighting heroes.
FLASH
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
FOOD
You may be thinking to yourself, “Flash is such a laid back boy. I bet he never gets angry.”
Well, you’d be wrong. I get mad at a lot of things. Take politicians, for instance. They promise everything and always come up short, especially when it comes to putting a tenderloin in every bowl.
I get angry at cats too. They just yap it up all day long…meow, meow, meow…and then expect to be waited on hand and foot. How much can a dog take when he’s trying to nap the day away?
Want to see my big head get red hot? Turn on the TV and have me watch rich, lazy dogs that have done nothing to deserve the camera time. You and I both know I should be the one in high definition playing the leading love bug.
But there’s one act that trumps all of that: the willful misuse/destruction of food.
Today's rant is aimed at my Old Man. The story involves a big bowl of salad, pizza, a hot pocket and peanuts.
My mom and I have two unspoken rules in our house - 1 - food will not go to waste. Any unwanted food will go to yours truly; and 2- I get the lick all plates before they go in the dishwasher (and mom usually leaves a little somethin' somethin' in the bowl for me).
The Old Man blatantly broke both rules last night. First, upon cleaning out the refrigerator, he dumped out an entire bowl of salad into the garbage. I usually am not a fan of the leafy greens, but this particular salad had a lot of cheese in it. Hey, old man, how about dumping that salad into my food bowl? Did you know there are thousands of starving bassets in this world?
I was already fighting mad after witnessing the salad escapade, but had high hopes the Old Man would redeem himself when I saw him sit down to eat his dinner of left over pizza, and a hot pocket, accompanied by a very large can of peanuts. I knew he wouldn't eat his pizza crust so I was already banking on the pizza crust and hoping for some leftover crumbs of the hot pocket. The can of peanuts was so large, that surely he would share and throw a few my way.
NO. NOTHING. NADA.
I barked 'asshole' at him and took my begging to my mom.
FLASH
Well, you’d be wrong. I get mad at a lot of things. Take politicians, for instance. They promise everything and always come up short, especially when it comes to putting a tenderloin in every bowl.
I get angry at cats too. They just yap it up all day long…meow, meow, meow…and then expect to be waited on hand and foot. How much can a dog take when he’s trying to nap the day away?
Want to see my big head get red hot? Turn on the TV and have me watch rich, lazy dogs that have done nothing to deserve the camera time. You and I both know I should be the one in high definition playing the leading love bug.
But there’s one act that trumps all of that: the willful misuse/destruction of food.
Today's rant is aimed at my Old Man. The story involves a big bowl of salad, pizza, a hot pocket and peanuts.
My mom and I have two unspoken rules in our house - 1 - food will not go to waste. Any unwanted food will go to yours truly; and 2- I get the lick all plates before they go in the dishwasher (and mom usually leaves a little somethin' somethin' in the bowl for me).
The Old Man blatantly broke both rules last night. First, upon cleaning out the refrigerator, he dumped out an entire bowl of salad into the garbage. I usually am not a fan of the leafy greens, but this particular salad had a lot of cheese in it. Hey, old man, how about dumping that salad into my food bowl? Did you know there are thousands of starving bassets in this world?
I was already fighting mad after witnessing the salad escapade, but had high hopes the Old Man would redeem himself when I saw him sit down to eat his dinner of left over pizza, and a hot pocket, accompanied by a very large can of peanuts. I knew he wouldn't eat his pizza crust so I was already banking on the pizza crust and hoping for some leftover crumbs of the hot pocket. The can of peanuts was so large, that surely he would share and throw a few my way.
NO. NOTHING. NADA.
I barked 'asshole' at him and took my begging to my mom.
FLASH
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Uhhhh.....
How do you know you’re having a bad day? When you’re on vacation in Australia, and you stop to do your business and then this happens to you. Fortunately it happened to a human and not a canine, but even I feel embarrassed for this guy.
A ROADSIDE toilet stop ended in pain, embarrassment and almost death for a tourist when a highly venomous snake bit the end of his penis.
The deadly brown snake slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood as he crouched on a roadside near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns, about a month ago.
Had the tourist taken the precaution of swimming in cold water prior to using the biggest toilet on earth, chances are the snake would have missed his precious tool altogether.
“It certainly had a swipe at him,” an ambulance spokesman said yesterday. “But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.”
The snake beat a hasty retreat, leaving its victim with a scratch, vomiting and abdomen pain.
It’s the same symptoms you encounter after eating the Bloomin’ Onion at Outback Steakhouse.
The wound was wrapped in plastic in case poison had penetrated the skin but medical staff gave the man the all-clear after conducting tests. He was taken to Cooktown Hospital where he spent a night recovering.
The ambulance spokesman described him as “lucky”, given his near encounter with one of Australia’s most poisonous snakes.
“I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed,” he said.
Also shocked and embarrassed was the snake who thought he was greeting a long lost friend.
FLASH
A ROADSIDE toilet stop ended in pain, embarrassment and almost death for a tourist when a highly venomous snake bit the end of his penis.
The deadly brown snake slithered between his legs and lunged at his manhood as he crouched on a roadside near Laura, 300km northwest of Cairns, about a month ago.
Had the tourist taken the precaution of swimming in cold water prior to using the biggest toilet on earth, chances are the snake would have missed his precious tool altogether.
“It certainly had a swipe at him,” an ambulance spokesman said yesterday. “But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.”
The snake beat a hasty retreat, leaving its victim with a scratch, vomiting and abdomen pain.
It’s the same symptoms you encounter after eating the Bloomin’ Onion at Outback Steakhouse.
The wound was wrapped in plastic in case poison had penetrated the skin but medical staff gave the man the all-clear after conducting tests. He was taken to Cooktown Hospital where he spent a night recovering.
The ambulance spokesman described him as “lucky”, given his near encounter with one of Australia’s most poisonous snakes.
“I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed,” he said.
Also shocked and embarrassed was the snake who thought he was greeting a long lost friend.
FLASH
Monday, November 8, 2010
Da Blues
How do you know it’s not going to be your day?
Is it when the kibble in your breakfast bowl isn’t covered with Savory Sauce? Or is it when you go for your morning walk and you’re the one that steps in George the Labradoodle’s poo instead of your owner? Or maybe it’s when you go to fart on the bed and a poop comes out?
Any of these situations may qualify as predictors of a day filled with disappointment, but I think I found one sure fire way to tell that today is truly going to suck: I saw my grandparents (visting from Virginia) packing their suitcases this morning. That can only lead me to believe one thing: they are leaving today. This fills me with great sadness as I've had such a great visit with them (corn dogs and pork ears included).
Have a safe trip back home Grandma and Grandpa! We are sad to see you leave, but hope you will come back to visit soon.
FLASH
Is it when the kibble in your breakfast bowl isn’t covered with Savory Sauce? Or is it when you go for your morning walk and you’re the one that steps in George the Labradoodle’s poo instead of your owner? Or maybe it’s when you go to fart on the bed and a poop comes out?
Any of these situations may qualify as predictors of a day filled with disappointment, but I think I found one sure fire way to tell that today is truly going to suck: I saw my grandparents (visting from Virginia) packing their suitcases this morning. That can only lead me to believe one thing: they are leaving today. This fills me with great sadness as I've had such a great visit with them (corn dogs and pork ears included).
Have a safe trip back home Grandma and Grandpa! We are sad to see you leave, but hope you will come back to visit soon.
FLASH
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Treats
Yesterday was a great day. I had my usual kibble and milkbones, but also snagged some turkey chili and cake. Glorious ice cream cake from Shakes....vanilla, of course.
I have to admit that I’m pretty fortunate when it comes to my weight. I’ve never packed on the pounds the way some mutts do. No Wait! Watchers for this pup.
That’s probably due to a combination of good exercise, good quality food and an amazing ability to digest human snacks.
Right now I'm waiting from my grandparents to get home from shopping so that I can beg for more cake. Then when my mom gets home, I'll beg again, of course not informing her of the cake I have already injested courtesy of Grandpa Mike.
Stay hungry my friends.
FLASH
I have to admit that I’m pretty fortunate when it comes to my weight. I’ve never packed on the pounds the way some mutts do. No Wait! Watchers for this pup.
That’s probably due to a combination of good exercise, good quality food and an amazing ability to digest human snacks.
Right now I'm waiting from my grandparents to get home from shopping so that I can beg for more cake. Then when my mom gets home, I'll beg again, of course not informing her of the cake I have already injested courtesy of Grandpa Mike.
Stay hungry my friends.
FLASH
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Visit from Grandparents = Treats & Presents
My grandparents get into town today. Time to put my beggin' face on. I heard something about there being cake tonight...
FLASH
FLASH
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Day of Mourning
The only Big D around here is depression.
The Texas Rangers did not win the World Series. The Rangers gave new meaning last night to the 'big hat, no cattle' saying. My Texas-sized dreams of the Rangers winning the World Series died hard last night in a dog bowl ofwhiskey, er water.
But you know what's worse? My Dallas Cowboys and Texas Longhorns. How 'bout dem Cowboys? Oh wait....they are 1-6. Poor Jerry Jones and the billion dollar house he built for the Boys (I'll have you know I have since retired my cowboys collar).
Would it be piling on to mention the University of Texas football team already has dropped so many games at home that the once- mighty Longhorns are routinely getting bullied by every Tom, Dick and Baylor?
I think Governor Perry might have to close schools and fly flags at half mast throughout the state for a day of mourning...
The next round of Lone Star beer is on me to drown those sorrows....
FLASH
The Texas Rangers did not win the World Series. The Rangers gave new meaning last night to the 'big hat, no cattle' saying. My Texas-sized dreams of the Rangers winning the World Series died hard last night in a dog bowl of
But you know what's worse? My Dallas Cowboys and Texas Longhorns. How 'bout dem Cowboys? Oh wait....they are 1-6. Poor Jerry Jones and the billion dollar house he built for the Boys (I'll have you know I have since retired my cowboys collar).
Would it be piling on to mention the University of Texas football team already has dropped so many games at home that the once- mighty Longhorns are routinely getting bullied by every Tom, Dick and Baylor?
I think Governor Perry might have to close schools and fly flags at half mast throughout the state for a day of mourning...
The next round of Lone Star beer is on me to drown those sorrows....
FLASH
Monday, November 1, 2010
Poop
Poop is one of my favorite topics, so I don't pass up an opportunity to bring up the subject. Yesterday Mom was whining incessantly about having to pick up the large amount of poop in the back yard. Of course, I got blamed for it, even though Lulu is just as responsible. I just don't understand her complaints.
We all have to take dumps, right? I mean, what’s the alternative – to hold it in until you’re ‘impacted’ and have to be rushed to the vet for an anal, and intestinal, flush?
That’s why I like taking good, healthy-sized dumps in the back yard.
Of course that usually means a big mess out back, but that’s not my problem.
I always tell my parents if they don’t want me eating it, to bag it before it ripens into a tasty treat. Or, if they don’t want to step in it, to bag it up and send it to its forever home.
FLASH
We all have to take dumps, right? I mean, what’s the alternative – to hold it in until you’re ‘impacted’ and have to be rushed to the vet for an anal, and intestinal, flush?
That’s why I like taking good, healthy-sized dumps in the back yard.
Of course that usually means a big mess out back, but that’s not my problem.
I always tell my parents if they don’t want me eating it, to bag it before it ripens into a tasty treat. Or, if they don’t want to step in it, to bag it up and send it to its forever home.
FLASH
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