FOOD

You may be thinking to yourself, “Flash is such a laid back boy. I bet he never gets angry.”

Well, you’d be wrong. I get mad at a lot of things. Take politicians, for instance. They promise everything and always come up short, especially when it comes to putting a tenderloin in every bowl.

I get angry at cats too. They just yap it up all day long…meow, meow, meow…and then expect to be waited on hand and foot. How much can a dog take when he’s trying to nap the day away?

Want to see my big head get red hot? Turn on the TV and have me watch rich, lazy dogs that have done nothing to deserve the camera time. You and I both know I should be the one in high definition playing the leading love bug.

But there’s one act that trumps all of that: the willful misuse/destruction of food.

Today's rant is aimed at my Old Man. The story involves a big bowl of salad, pizza, a hot pocket and peanuts.

My mom and I have two unspoken rules in our house - 1 - food will not go to waste. Any unwanted food will go to yours truly; and 2- I get the lick all plates before they go in the dishwasher (and mom usually leaves a little somethin' somethin' in the bowl for me).

The Old Man blatantly broke both rules last night. First, upon cleaning out the refrigerator, he dumped out an entire bowl of salad into the garbage. I usually am not a fan of the leafy greens, but this particular salad had a lot of cheese in it. Hey, old man, how about dumping that salad into my food bowl? Did you know there are thousands of starving bassets in this world?

I was already fighting mad after witnessing the salad escapade, but had high hopes the Old Man would redeem himself when I saw him sit down to eat his dinner of left over pizza, and a hot pocket, accompanied by a very large can of peanuts. I knew he wouldn't eat his pizza crust so I was already banking on the pizza crust and hoping for some leftover crumbs of the hot pocket. The can of peanuts was so large, that surely he would share and throw a few my way.

NO. NOTHING. NADA.

I barked 'asshole' at him and took my begging to my mom.

FLASH