Name Calling

I’ve never bitten anyone in my life.

Well, bitten anyone really hard, that is. I have had a nibble or two of human skin, but almost always in a playful way. The only exception being the one man that tried to kidnap me from my mother’s car when I was a pup. I never told my parents about the incident so this probably comes as a shock for them to read.

What can I say, when a human sees a talented dog, especially one that can type, they’re apt to want him. So it was left up to me to defend myself. The outcome was never in doubt. Anyway, he tasted like chicken and I never had the occasion to taste him again, the case of burps shortly thereafter not withstanding. Canines are correct in saying things taste better the second time around.

Which lead me to this story is something that happened over the weekend to my Old Man. Some name calling that made me want to take another chuck of human skin from a snotty nose kid in my Old Man's defense.

Here's what happened. It was a nice spring-like Saturday so my parents decided to spend the day at Austin Parks & Pizza, which is similar to Chuck E Cheese, minus the scary talking mice. The Old Man got a hankering to ride the bumper boats with the squirting water guns on them. What can I say - he's a big kid at heart. The Old Man and about 8 children loaded into their bumper boats and off they went for a water gun war, while my mom stood on the sidelines shaking her head.

That's when it happened. One of the little people announced "Let's all get Gramps!"and everyone turned their water guns to the Old Man. While I happen to think it's pretty funny that he got the bad end of a water gun war, I do not think the name calling is funny. Words hurt people. Calling a 35 year old man "Gramps" can do a lot to damage someone's ego. Even I use the more PC term - Old Man - and, that's in a joking matter.

I wish I could have been there to witness this because I would have taken a chunk out of the bully's arm in 2 seconds flat. They don't call me Flash for nothing...

So, if you happen to see my father this week, please compliment him on how young he looks. He needs the moral boost after Saturday.

FLASH