A Gift From The Heavens

Yesterday I received the most precious gift in the mail addressed to Flash T. Ruyle: two dozen pork ears. And they are the good kind: not that cheap off-brand that Mom buys me. At first I thought the pork ears were a magical gift from the big man in the sky, but mom informed me that they were from Grandpa Mike. It was a bit of a surprise - to be honest, I wasn't sure he would pull through for me. But, alas, he did, so I give a big bark out "thank you" to Grandpa Mike for filling my belly with the gift of pork.

HOWEVER, we do have one BIG problem involving Lulu and my pork ears. The package was clearly addressed to Flash T. Ruyle. So, maybe someone can enlighten me on what the hell is going on in the picture below?
Yes, you are seeing correctly: Lulu is chowing down on one of my coveted pork ears. To quote Grandpa Mike who once said the following when a lady pulled out in front of him at the Vienna Metro: Stupid Bitch. (yes folks, he really talks like that)

I have given her fair warning that if I see her with any more of my pork ears I will pick her up by her tail and drop kick her through the doggy door. The same goes for the Old Man. You don't mess with a man and his pork.
**Dear Grandpa Mike, just wondering: it appears - and to quote you - the stupid bitch, has eaten two of my pork ears. Can you go ahead and get those replaced and in the mail to me?Overnight mail would be best.

WOOF,
FLASH