Dear Flash and Lulu

Dear Flash and Lulu,
Just wanted to extend my deepest thanks for your antics this morning that made me 30 minutes late to work. It's quite impressive that I was up at 4:45 am and still couldn't make it to work on time. I hope you are noting my sarcasm.

I cannot comprehend why you have a standoff over dog kibble every.single.morning when you each have your own bowl of food. Yet, you still fight over the same bowl. I especially appreciate that these standoffs always occur when your father is out of town, leaving me to deal with them. I thought I had solved the problem by putting Lulu in the crate alone with her food bowl. Surely, once separated you would go about your business and eat your food. But, Lulu you showed me who was boss by barfing all over the crate instead of eating your food. And, Flash you were a big help by trying to lick up the vomit while I was trying to clean it up.

Just when I was thought the food standoff was over, I started to head out the door at this point only 10 minutes late for work. But, no, you were not done yet. Lulu, thanks for pawing at Flash's bowl until it spilled everywhere, which then caused a dog fight.

I'm sorry but I only have so much patience; which is why I decided that neither of you were eating this morning and took your food away and put it back in the back. So sorry (not really).

I really enjoyed arriving at work 30 minutes late, apologizing for my lateness and attributing it to dog barf. My morning was really topped off when someone made the comment "kids are one thing, dogs are another." Apparently, I was supposed to leave your vomit until I got home this evening. I am sure that would leave the house smelling fantastic.

Maybe your antics are to show me that I am not cut out to be a mom of the human kind and that we are best off with fur babies. You win. However, you best be careful because many more mornings like this could land you back on the streets.

Hugs,
Your (very pissed off) Mom