Theft

Some things are worth stealing, others not so much.

You have to be strategic in your pilfering. For instance, I would never expend my energy sneaking money out of my mother’s purse or the credit cards from my father’s wallet.

Instead, I’ll take stuff that gives me true enjoyment. In my youth that included teddy bears, shoes and dirty underwear. Lately, it’s taken the form of kitty snickers, the old man's hats, mom's library books (love to rip out the pages!) and anything that Lulu appears to be playing with.

Of course, not everyone is as smart as me. Take for instance a food thief at my mom's work. So far, one of her nutri-grain bars and one of her yogurts has been pilfered, as well as some bananas from down the hall. First - this must be a healthy food thief. Why you would waste your time stealing these items is beyond me. And, I can almost guarantee you there has to be better food in that office to steal. Secondly, even I know not to mess with my mother's food. Sure, I'll pilfer some food from the Old Man's plate, but I know not to bark up the wrong tree with mom's food. If you decide to take my mom's food, you will have implicitly agreed to a game of Russian Roulette...

FLASH