Beer

My old man loves beer and he refuses to give me any. He tells me that alcohol, hops and carbonation are bad for my innards. I don’t buy it. I think he just wants all the beer for himself. That excuse is now going out the window because look at what I just found out on the internets. Dog Beer! You heard right. 3 Busy Dogs has created Bowser Beer. It’s just for dogs and it tastes like beef. Let the party begin…

From their website:

Introducing Bowser Beer^TM

Does your dog drink responsibly?

I will say that lately I haven’t been drinking very responsibly. In fact, just before I go to bed at night I load up on a bowlful of water. Then, at about 3:00am, I wake up my mother so she can carry me outside to pee. She looks tired, but that’s not my problem. Anyway, I’m thinking that maybe Bowser Beer can get me off the water habit and on to something better. Let’s see what’s in it:

Bowser Beer^TM is made from filtered water, pure malt barley, and infused with dog-loving beef extract – without hops or alcohol. It’s low-cal, like our pretzel treats, so you can spoil without guilt.

An infusion of dog-loving beef extract? Sign me up for a case of the stuff.

So what’s the best time to enjoy this hearty, beefy drink?

[While] watching sports on the couch or after a long, dusty walk … Put some party in your animal!

Or I could just drink some before my 6 hour nap, and then some more after I get up to pee. And, hey, nothing says party like a drunk canine with an attitude. I just hope this stuff doesn’t make me argumentative.

Bowser Beer^TM comes in a handy 6-pack of 12 oz. bottles [...and you can] personalize your beer with a picture of your favorite dog!

I hope the bottles are twist offs. I hate bottle openers because I just can’t get a grip on them. Even if they’re not twist offs, who could resist being featured on their own beer? Not me, my friend. Not me.

* Though non-alcoholic, do not let your dog drive or operate heavy machinery when drinking Bowser Beer^TM.

I guess I better get my Bobcat work done before my shipment arrives. I just hope they have an internet connection at the Betty Ford Clinic.

FLASH