Dear Old Man (Part 2)

Dear Old Man,

I am writing you again with an urgent plea to please come home. Since my letter to you yesterday, things have gone from bad to worse. It is certain high likely that I will be forced to pee and poop inside the house today. I cannot take the risk or going outside and having anyone see me. Why? BECAUSE I AM WEARING A PINK COLLAR! Yes, you read the right. Mom has completely emasculated me. You might as well change my name to Fluffy the Fufu Basset.

Here's what happened: my Cowboys collar ripped right in half during our walk today (hopefully not an omen of how their season will be this year), and so Mom put Lulu's old PINK collar on me.

I don't mean to make threats, but if I don't have a new collar on my neck by tomorrow, I will be forced to call Animal Protective Services on the two of you.

I heard a rumor that you may be coming home late tonight? Please pick up a new collar for me on your way into town. I will be waiting impatiently by the door.

FLASH

P.S. I was forced to watch Bachelor Pad last night. That is two hours of my life I'll never get back. You owe me, Old Man.