First things first. Please see below for my report card from Zoot, the pet resort I stayed at over the weekend. My excellent marks earned me two corn dogs from Sonic.....score!
It's a little hard to read, but the most important thing to take away from the report is the line 'Thanks for bringing Flash to Zoot - he is a joy'! Okay, maybe it says 'Thanks for bringing Flash & Lulu to Zoot - they were a joy' - but you get the picture - they loved me.
One more clarification. On my report card it says I liked playing with Harley and Max. Er, untrue. I did not like anything about Max. I spent playtime running from him as he tried to mount me. For what it’s worth, once I gave him my Milkbone money, the threat was notably reduced.
While I did have an enjoyable time at Zoot, I'm confused about why my mom kept referring to it as a pet resort. All I heard last week was 'Flash, you're going to a pet resort for the weekend! You're going to have so much fun.' I was expecting an all-inclusive luxury resort with unlimited Bowser Beer and Milkbones, lush accommodations and personalized service. I was expecting to enjoy gentle breezes and breathtaking sunsets. Instead I was stuck in a room with Lulu (whom I prefer not to vacation with), had to listen to a poodle bark all night, and to be honest, the kibble they served was a little on the dry side.
The Old Man grumbled because he had pay more per night for our stay then his hotel room cost for a night, but hey, I'm obviously worth it...
FLASH
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